I’m sure that this subject has been speculated on by others before. I truly believe that my ADHD (and probably even my mania) has become harder to manage over the years because of the greater number of mind-distracting stimulating things out there.
I remember that when I started here two decades ago, there was very little to alleviate my wandering focus. When I first got here, I had an old metal shelled IBM, pure green-screen. If I lost focus from working, there wasn’t much to do to muddle through whatever I was trying to do (or not do because I had lost interest or didn’t understand whatever I was working on). I could take a trip down to the store. Visit people at their desk. Just about every break and lunch was taken away from my desk, so that I could break up my day. I know that I called Jim at work entirely too much. I was basically bored and there was nothing that I could do about it. That’s not to say that work bored me; more like there was not enough change in it to keep me attentive towards it.
After I got Larry Bratton’s PC when he upgraded, I found a few things to catch my interest when work wasn’t holding my attention. And then we got the Interest up here and I truly believe that things really went downhill for me at that point. With the Internet, there are numerous things to catch your attention. Personal email sites. Shopping sites. This, that, and the other. Too many things. Not to mention IMs, which provided me others to talk to.
I have tried getting my Internet access limited, but it seems that it can’t be done. I have tried using software to limit it myself. However, I always have the option to work around that, usually by turning it off, when I want to.
And today, I have spent nearly my entire day closing out my Clarity for last week. Lol, Clarity is a whole another can of worms. It has gone beyond hate, it has gone beyond any other adjective that I can come up with. Sitting down to figure out where my day went mentally and physically takes it out of me. And I know that has almost everything to do with the fact that I bounce from item to item, on top of the fact that I don’t stay focused on one project enough to get anything of significance done on that project. I know that it should not take me nearly as long as it does to work on projects, even when adding a bit of extra for not understanding the projects. I seem to spend so little of a given time period on the actual project and I’m not sure just want can be done to override that, other than setting things up as they were 20 years ago.
I know that some might say that maybe this career just doesn’t hold enough interest to be the best job for me. I tend to disagree with that logic. This might not be the perfect job for me, however I know that it’s an adequate job that I’m able to do. When I’m really into what I’m working on, or I’m in the middle of a problem, my interest can be held. I think that with any job, there will be good days and bad days. I still need to learn how to motivate myself through the bad days, and I have not done that yet. Lol, I may spend the rest of my working life trying to figure that out lol.
Thanks ….
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