I knew it was gonna be bad

I got 2/2 on my ePGW; 3/3 is the least that someone would want to get.  Went down from 3/2 last year, mostly because I did not get a fairly big project finished.  Not even finished, I didn’t even get it started.  My own damned fault, pretty much forgot all about it. 

 

We’re trying a new tactic this year: instead of getting a group of assignments at one time, I’ll get one at a time.  Although I know that will help me in the forefront, I wonder how that might hurt me out in the distance, later on.  It could be held against me that I have so few projects going on at one time.  (big sigh) we’ll see.

 

It was also advised that I might want to look into the things that might be distracting my day, such as pop-up reminders.  (I do know I have too many of those; trying to make sure that I prompt myself on everything, I usually wind up prompting myself far too much, having to frequently (at least a couple times a year) scale them back).

 

Getting started

Why does it always take me so long to get started in the mornings?

I am so lost

I am floundering in cluelessness right now.  I have no idea how to just dive in and start working on learning something here.  There’s just too much to try to pick up.  Trying to do all of this myself. I barely know which way to turn.  I don’t know why I let junior talk me into doing all of this via a book.

I can't believe that I'm jealous over this

Actually, no I’m not.  A team member has again gotten ‘atta boys’ over fixing some problem and it really bugs me that I don’t get those.  Ever since I they started this employee of the quarter program, I have wanted to get it.  However, I know that I don’t deserve them.  I want to be back to that point, and I am so stuck where I am.  I no longer really know what I’m doing.  I’m managing a system that I know very little about.

 

Thanks ….

 

Monica Collins

Appl Sys Prog Analyst I

Information Technology Directorate

Army & Air Force Exchange Service

214-312-2353 

collinsm@aafes.com

Visit our online store! www.shopmyexchange.com

 

 

Change in plans - part 2

Collins, Monica P. [2:55 PM]:

Can I run a question by you?

Adams, David M. [2:58 PM]:

yes

Collins, Monica P. [3:00 PM]:

Um, 2-part question, actually.  Some months back, you gave me a list of studies that I should be trying to take if I wanted to work my way into what was Norman's position.

Do you recall this?

Adams, David M. [3:01 PM]:

sort of

Collins, Monica P. [3:02 PM]:

K.  I have been using that list as a guide while I've been investigating options.  This is what I had come up with:

What is listed on page 2 is what I had come up with, until today that is.

Adams, David M. [3:04 PM]:

ok

Collins, Monica P. [3:05 PM]:

Someone has suggested that I try some of the books that I have listed on page 1, and had also offered to work with me on some of these, so I am thinking of trying that route first.  What I was curious about is if the list  that I have based my choices upon is still valid, in your humble opinion.

Silverlight was just added today.

We were wondering if you had any others.

Adams, David M. [3:05 PM]:

first off, you don't need any MySQL, PHP, and or Apache

Collins, Monica P. [3:06 PM]:

Just SQL instead of that one?

Adams, David M. [3:06 PM]:

you would need SQL Server

Collins, Monica P. [3:06 PM]:

I've heard others around here mentioning MySQL.

Adams, David M. [3:06 PM]:

i also wouldn't worry about Java and/or Objective C/iPhone

Collins, Monica P. [3:07 PM]:

um, why not iPhone?

Adams, David M. [3:07 PM]:

because we don

't have a huge need for iphone at this point.  we will always have web

Collins, Monica P. [3:08 PM]:

oh, so y'all have pretty much come to a stand still with it, huh?  ok.

I see.  I think I see where you are going with this.

Adams, David M. [3:09 PM]:

i would work on basic ASP.Net/C# web programming first. work in some basic knowledge of SQL Server and XML.

Collins, Monica P. [3:09 PM]:

As in, by the time I get through those, something else will be the NBT.

At one point in time, I had started learning how to code apps for my Palms.  I might pick that up again ...

However, first things first ....

thanks.

Adams, David M. [3:18 PM]:

what are you working on?

Collins, Monica P. [3:20 PM]:

brb ... i'm on the phone with ms. crutchfield.

Adams, David M. [3:49 PM]:

??

are SRs 18225 and 18216 done???

Collins, Monica P. [4:00 PM]:

You asked me about these two yesterday, didn't you?

Adams, David M. [4:01 PM]:

yes

Collins, Monica P. [4:01 PM]:

Thought so.  I marked them complete on my end yesterday.

Adams, David M. [4:01 PM]:

but the SRs are still active

Collins, Monica P. [4:01 PM]:

I'll send emails to MK right now, since that's about all that I can do at the moment.

huh?

Adams, David M. [4:02 PM]:

you said that yesterday

Collins, Monica P. [4:02 PM]:

I marked them, but did not send 2nd emails.

Adams, David M. [4:02 PM]:

please get this done.  i want them closed.

back to my original question, what are you working on?

what is the status of your hot issue from 2 days ago?

Collins, Monica P. [4:03 PM]:

I was working on an easytrieve app, until my HOD died.

All my hot issues should be closed.

Adams, David M. [4:06 PM]:

what is the status of SR 12842 SHOW ZIPS FOR VC on CYR-ACS POINT OF ORIGIN?

Collins, Monica P. [4:07 PM]:

That one is still waiting for a reply from Ms. Fusco.  I'll send her another reminder on it.

Change in plans

I think this might work, provided that I can manage to set aside the time that I would need to do these.  Either way, I’m gonna have the same problem when I take the online courses.  Somehow, I have to figure out how to create a separate class time, just as though I were going to a class on some campus.  I have to find a way to mentally create that physical like the classroom did.

 

8:23 AMCollins, Monica P.

I can use C# to do some DOS commands, correct?

8:25 AMLacy, Robert P.

what was that about DOS?  closed the window on accident

8:25 AMCollins, Monica P.

8:23 AMCollins, Monica P.

I can use C# to do some DOS commands, correct?

8:25 AMLacy, Robert P.

yes

_http://www.codeproject.com/KB/cs/Execute_Command_in_CSharp.aspx

8:27 AMCollins, Monica P.

hmmmm

I like this site.  I need to see what else they have.  My sister just gave me an idea for some practice projects.

8:28 AMLacy, Robert P.

oh?

8:28 AMCollins, Monica P.

She constantly asks if I have this artist's stuff or that artist's stuff.

I jokingly said that I should just give her a list of what I have or am thinking of getting.

So she says sure, just send her my itunes xml file since she wrote a browser to read it.

First, that kinda hurt: I'm the one in the programming business (my mother used to be, she's now LAN, however I was there first) and now both twins are better at web than I am, and my mother is catching up to them.  This is making me look bad lol.

8:31 AMLacy, Robert P.

dang, yea

8:32 AMCollins, Monica P.

The twins have been creating web pages for people for a few years now.  I have so fallen into a nitch and I cannot for the life of me get out of it.

That will be changing over the next couple of years, if I have to starve to get it accomplished.  Anyway ....

My XML project can be to take my iTunes file and create my own browser out of it.

My C# project can be to take a directory list of all of my drives, create an XML file, then put that file into the same browser program.

I don't know why I didn't think of that before.  I have yet to find a browse to my liking, I might as well create my own.

8:34 AMLacy, Robert P.

right on

8:35 AMCollins, Monica P.

I would have to set up my PC as a web server if I wanted to be able to read it from anywhere, right?

8:36 AMLacy, Robert P.

yes

needs to be runing IIS

8:36 AMCollins, Monica P.

Please tell me that is not very expensive to do?

8:37 AMLacy, Robert P.

it should be free

8:37 AMCollins, Monica P.

woo to the hoo

8:37 AMLacy, Robert P.

btw

this is the best book i have found to teach yourself

_http://www.amazon.com/Sams-Teach-Yourself-Programming-Days/dp/0672322358/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1299681457&sr=8-1

i had it, but cant find it

think i let someone borrow it

but that will even show you how to install and configure IIS

you can grab it used for 2$ lol

8:44 AMCollins, Monica P.

I have a number of books like this.  They haven't done me much good in past, however I think that I know why so I would have to put some things in place if I tried using it again.

8:47 AMCollins, Monica P.

hmmm

It looks like Sams may have a book for all of the courses that I was wanting to take.  Maybe I should just get these instead, save myself a few thousand.

8:48 AMLacy, Robert P.

ya

8:48 AMCollins, Monica P.

I could then take a goLearn so that I have a certificate to add to my file.

8:48 AMLacy, Robert P.

if you follow them day by day like it says...its not so bad

8:50 AMCollins, Monica P.

The last time I tried one of these, I got to impatient, wanted to do the entire thing all in one setting lol. Then, it fell by the wayside.  I would have to force myself to do it chapter by chapter.  I would also have to actually set aside a time -- and place -- to do it.  There are other things to lose focus on once I get home.

As it was, once I started my courses, I plan on staying at work each day to do them.

8:53 AMLacy, Robert P.

go to the library thats what i do

8:58 AMCollins, Monica P.

um, I might have tried that one.  lol, I did do that a few weeks ago, when I was mad at my BF, for about 2-3 hours.

8:59 AMLacy, Robert P.

dang

9:04 AMCollins, Monica P.

well, i needed to do some work, but I didn't want to stay there lol.

9:04 AMLacy, Robert P.

i see

9:05 AMCollins, Monica P.

Actually, that was the major reason that I got my netbook, so that I could do some studying while DARTing back and forth to work.

9:05 AMLacy, Robert P.

yea

9:05 AMCollins, Monica P.

that never happened.

I think that I might change up my plans somewhat.

I'll go ahead and get the loan, since I do have some car work to do.

9:09 AMCollins, Monica P.

I was gonna buy the C# course this weekend; maybe I should try this book instead?  And, next month when I turnover my loan, I'll just bank the amounts.  Then, I'll get one of the books for each of the subjects, do it that way.  lol, it would definitely come out cheaper in the end lol.

Amazon has 1,373 books for Sam's Teach Yourself.  There has got to be one for everything in both of the course sets.

9:09 AMLacy, Robert P.

probably

9:10 AMCollins, Monica P.

Arem

Aren't these 21 days books divided by hour lessons as well?

9:11 AMLacy, Robert P.

hour?  naw

its at your own pace for 1 day

9:11 AMCollins, Monica P.

so, how long did each lesson average?

9:11 AMLacy, Robert P.

its got sample projects with solutions

few hours

you can breeze through them if you chose, but if you actually try to analyze what the lesson encompasses, then a few hours

9:12 AMCollins, Monica P.

So, it might wind up being a couple of months to finish one of the 21 day books, then?

That's still not that bad, considering the price

9:14 AMLacy, Robert P.

no

it takes 21 days

hence the title

but

if you wanted to stretch them out i guess you could

but ideally you want to finish each of the day lessons in a few hours

9:14 AMCollins, Monica P.

depends on what a 'few hours' entail.

9:15 AMLacy, Robert P.

reading, sample program

err exercise

you can preview the book in google books

9:15 AMCollins, Monica P.

2 hours daily, 5 days a week, maybe then.

I'm thinking this might be the best way to go about this.  I'm just gonna have to find a way to make myself focus and not lose patience when I'm not understanding it.

Oh yeah, and this too

It does not help that I have not had any meds this weekend.  Nor have I had my alternate either.

 

Thanks ….

 

Monica Collins

Appl Sys Prog Analyst I

Information Technology Directorate

Army & Air Force Exchange Service

214-312-2353 

collinsm@aafes.com

Visit our online store! www.shopmyexchange.com

 

 

The real crux of what is going on today.

I believe that I know what is really going on with me right now.  It’s a continuation of this weekend, which is a continuation of last week, and weeks before that, and so on.  Being broke is starting to take its toll on my again. 

·         I wanted to pay for my class this morning, however I’m broke so I can’t until (hopefully) Friday.  To do it sooner, I would have to borrow it from someone, and I refrain from doing that.

·         I didn’t want to sit around the apartment this weekend, however because I was broke, I couldn’t go anywhere.  I would not just go and  walk around a mall, because I am then surrounded by things that I cannot buy and that would make me even more depressed.

·         I started work on a costume and after some thinking on it, realized that I needed some new supplies but could not do anything about it, due to being broke.

·         I am going to be on pins and needles for the next month, waiting until my loan is paid off, so that I can turn it over again, so that I can pay for my 2^nd group of classes, because I am financially unable to do anything about it until then.

·         I’m to the point where I can’t see out of my eyeglasses anymore and I can’t do a thing about it until the loan occurs, for guess which reason?

·         I couldn’t make a trip to drop some garage sale things at my mother’s house, because I barely have enough gas to get me though this week.

·         And the list continues …

Slightly depressed

I’m feeling a bit of depression right now.  What if this is far as I go?  Will I be happy spending the next 24 years at this level?  There are no guarantees that I will progress when I finish my web developer courses.  I might still stay at this level while doing different kind of work.  Can I accept that? 

 

(big sigh) It’s times like these that I could really stand to have a friend that I can talk things like this over with.

Obsession on thoughts today

One thing that I have yet to see explained anywhere is how to clear your mind when you are obsessing or hyper-focusing on particular thoughts.  I’ve got two things that I am thinking non-stop about this morning and I’m finding it almost impossible to concentrate on work right now.  Playing white noise only clears out the noise from the outside; it doesn’t nothing for the noise inside of my head.  How do I deal with that?