I made the mistaking of telling Lacy about my having to bribe myself to go to the gym. It turns out he’s as logical thinking – eidetic – as you. I find that really irritating because I’ve enough trouble dealing with one of you. That led to logical thinking types that I may have too much of a creative mind for programming. Jeff even suggested marketing, which I would never warm to.
Anyway, after pondering a bit, I pointed out to Lacy that I have had the wherewith all to managing to go to the gym, although it did take me being pretty hyper focused to do it. I pondered some more and came to the conclusion that the hyper problem is not the major part of this issue, just the concentration issue, along with the anxiety Hell, even the OCD isn’t a major issue. Only having half of that would have made the better part of my career, even school, tolerable. (Many a kid has been known to be a motor-mouth however not getting as upset over it as I did would have made it easier on me.) And being able to think clearly when being bombarded with work would have gotten me a few more accolades instead of headaches and reprimands.
So, here’s my game plan: I’m going to stop trying to control the hyper so much and mostly concentrate on the clarity of thought and anxiousness. I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t want to do anything. The only time I seem to have any mental energy is on the weekends because I have not been taking my meds and they have worn off. By Monday, I’m usually still hyper and coupled with not being able to concentrate, I’m not good for much.
I’m thinking that along with the Strattera and the one 450mg dose of Lithium, I’ll request a daily anxiety pill. And I won’t take any Lamotrigine for the first month. If it turns out that I’m still way too hyper, I’ll add 150mg of it, however I think that not taking it at all should do it. I’ll get some of my mental and physical back, and actually have more of a desire to do things.
From:
Sent: Thursday, September 04, 2014 1:55 PM
To: Collins, Monica P.
Subject:
Collins, Monica P. 11:01 AM
I think that this youtube video I found the other day will teach me how to create an HTML5/CSS website in about an hour. Unless more videos follow it, that is...
Collins, Monica P. 1:24 PM
1/3: Will you be able to review my email by the end of the week please?
Collins, Monica P. 1:29 PM
2/3: I didn't memorize where your car is because 1) it is not my car; 2) I didn't think you actually parked on the same row, let alone the same space, every single day (I used to do that when I came in early, right inside the gate on the gravel); 3) I didn't think I'd ever be riding in the damned thing again and 4) I didn't know that you expected me to remember where it gets parked lol. I can actually remember stuff at seeing it once: some movies and songs, directions to places: I made a return trip to Quinlan after only driving there once.
Lacy, Robert P. 1:30 PM
what email?
Lacy, Robert P. 1:32 PM
have you gotten everything wired up?
does it actually launch your sessions?
Collins, Monica P. 1:34 PM
3/3: (This is why I got quiet at lunch: I was thinking, reviewing, formulating plans) Being too 'creative' isn't the (major) problem. Too many creative people in IT. Lol, we have the 'creative solutions' that make you guys go 'WTF, how does this work!?". And getting hyper focused on something isn't all that bad a thing. it's the executive functions that need help. As I said, I am formulating plans. Afterwards, I might even start going back to the gym again. And maybe even dance class after that. And who knows, maybe even (ack!), dare I say it...practicing!
Oh, it worked before, the one by itself.
It's adding that 2nd one that's a problem.
Collins, Monica P. 1:37 PM
Um, sorry to throw all of that at you, however you were one of the two that made the comments. I wanted to clarify since my mind went into vapor lock there and couldn't say anything back.
Lacy, Robert P. 1:38 PM
k
Collins, Monica P. 1:39 PM
The first year, I exercised every work day and had three dance classes a week. The 2nd year, I started going to the gym on the afternoons that I didn't have class.
Collins, Monica P. 1:43 PM
^o) I'd tell you my gameplan, however I know you wouldn't be interested lol. :P
(I wish this thing had Yahoo!'s laughing icon lol)
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